My 90 year-old mother refers to the economic losses of the 1920’s - 30’s as The Great Depression.  However, when my mother describes her life and the lives of others during that time, it sounds very different.  That era sounds more like a time of change and growth for individuals and families.  Families and neighborhoods pulled together.  People not only adapted, but also grew and eventually thrived.   To me, it sounds like it should have been named The Great Recovery.

Today economists are predicting that we are going into another great depression.  Here are 7 ways to not only survive but also help each other through this difficult time.

1.       Separate the reality of your situation from the fear.  There is actual loss and the loss you fear.  Stay in today, not the imagined future.  The truth is you have been disappointed many times in your life.  No one can escape it completely.  Acknowledge what happened in the past, assess where you are today, and realize the future is still unknown.

2.       There are certain circumstances that knock people down a notch:  the loss of a loved one, loss of money, loss of a job, loss of an expected future. When there is loss, there is grief, a natural part of experience.  However, grief doesn’t feel like grief.  It feels like anger, fear, and hopelessness. Recognize that these feelings are normal and will pass. It may feel like you have no future, but feelings aren’t facts.  Rather than thinking of what you have lost, begin brainstorming on what you will do next.

3.       Don’t hide feelings from yourself or others.  Like a 3-year-old demanding attention, the more feelings are ignored, the longer they stay and the louder they get.  Family and friends can’t help you unless they know how you really feel.

4.       Some try to cover sadness with anger or pretend that those around, rather than their own frustration, bring on their anger.  There is a tendency when under pressure to take your own frustrations out on others around you.  If you do lash out at your spouse or child, apologize, even if you have to go back later to apologize.  Keep little irritations, little irritations.  

5.       Recognize that children and teens don’t process their feelings the same way adults do.  They don’t say, “I feel scared and need your support”.  They express feelings behaviorally.  Whether they are 6 or 16, tantrums may increase.  Their patience and tolerance may become even lower that yours. They may try to push you away, but this is when they need you the most.  In response to this, make sure that you don’t throw tantrums as well.  It is easy to be sucked into their anger.  Remind yourself regularly that children of any age need your guidance and support.  You are modeling how adults deal with disappointment and change. 

6.       Spend more time with loved ones and let each other’s love prepare you to face each day. As the Beatles said in song so long ago: Money Can’t Buy Me Love.  Sure, lots of money is fun.  Your real buffer against hardship is your strong relationship with other people, the bedrock upon which happiness is built.  They are the true source of your self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love.  In addition, they value you because of who you are not what you do or have.  Spend you time strengthening your relationships with family and friends. 

7.       Be willing to ask for help.  If the negative feelings seem overwhelming or interfere with your daily life and functioning, it is time to see a professional.  Psychologists and physicians refer to clinical depression as the common cold of mental health.  That is because it is so often the result of prolonged stress.  Depression affects normal, healthy, strong-willed, emotionally stable people. Don’t let pride prevent you from calling a professional.  With professional help, you can better care for yourself, your family and plan your family’s future. Talk to a Doctor or therapist about the degree to which you are experiencing your negative feelings.  They can help you get back on-track.

Today’s unstable economic times affect all members of the household.  It is how we face today’s changes that determine their effect on our families’ futures.  Let’s model the honesty to accept our feelings, the strength to accept the help of others and the ability to adapt.   Let’s make future generations call this period of financial difficulty “The Great Recovery”.